I'm sure that most of us have been in that little whirlpool regarding our lives. Yes, the one where we're sucked into not knowing which path to take and what to do about this, that, and the other. Well, once again, I'm there, and frankly, I'm getting kinda dizzy.
I've grown pretty tired of the community college scene. Nothing against it, but damn, I hate it. I hate waiting to break loose and go for the things I'd love to do. Pretty sure I need a change of pace. I sit in some classes and wonder, "Why am I here, I hate it here. I could be off somewhere else doing something I love, but instead, I'm giving myself a headache because I don't know how to do fractions." So, I've made a choice. I'm transferring credits (but keeping a transcript, in case I should go back.. always have a backup, kids.) and I'm going to culinary arts school. There are alot of things I have a passion for (cooking, acting, music, good hair), and I'm not catering to any of those needs (yes, I see the potential for a foods-related pun there.) where I am. So, I'm taking charge of what I want and I'm going for it.
This sudden change in my course of life probably means I'm gonna have to move out sooner than I thought, so I'm gonna need a roommate sooner than I thought. I hate the idea of living alone. I can't even stand being alone for long periods of time. Hell, I couldn't hack the drive back to Kansas City from Oklahoma City without stopping somewhere and chatting with a stranger about the weather (toothless old guys in Joplin actually have a pretty good sense of humor.) I'm moving downtown off of 11th and Grand, so that'll be an adventure. I can't wait for it, but the furniture part's gonna suck. Anyone that would love to get rid of some couches and things, totally lemme know. Meanwhile.. garage sales, folks. I frickin' love garage sales. Ever since I was a little kid, I mean, I grew up in thrift stores and on garage sale driveways. It's so easy, really. The only thing I'll buy new is a mattress. Ain't want nobody's dead babies on my sheets (things that make you go.. ecghh.) SO. I have alot to consider, and alot to take in. Thoughts?
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Friday, February 5, 2010
City Dreamer
This whole week has been pretty exciting, actually. Monday and Tuesday were essentially sarcastic angsty teenager days that I was so used to back in the day, but for some reason, I felt a spark that told me that this has to turn around somehow. I kinda just let every little detail do it's own thing and let someone else drive for a while. No worries, I always wear a seatbelt. Wednesday was a short day in school, which I'm entirely grateful for, and the previous day (Tuesday), I met a friend of mine and his brother with their redhead midget friend downtown at my favorite little hipster hideout. Straight people (straight guys, really) always make me feel weird, like I have to cross a language barrier of specific grunts, groans, and ball-scratching and conserve any glow-mosexual vibes I might be radiating. When did having a different sexual identity become so complicated? Anywho.
After an odd whirlwind tour of downtown (because these kids have been caged in suburbia for ages on end, so wow! It's a city! Nothing's shrink-wrapped in vinyl and marketed for a pseudo-nuclear family with 2.5 kids and a warped plastic picket fence!), I spent a good chunk of time loitering back at the snack bar with darling Ruby. I adore the girl, really. She's spunky and quirky, something you can't find outside of a scripted independent film much. Of course, it was after hours and I felt the strange need to help with whatever chores needed to be done when closing up shop. I dunno, I just feel like a moochy slacker if I don't somehow pitch in. Day change, it's Wednesday. Another short day, which is considerably better than other days. Again, I meet with Jeremy and we're running around downtown. It's a pattern, really, spending my time in downtown driving the streets finding little adventures in which to get ourselves wrapped up.. which is precisely what happened that night.
Westport Coffeehouse. Not a place I usually hang around, but eh. It was a change of scene. There's a theater attached to the downstairs section of this little joint, and inside, a big commotion was taking place. Upon wandering down the creaky wooden stairs, I found a large crowd of strangers assimilating into groups. After questioning a strange but attractive man, we discovered that the local IFC (Independent Filmmakers Association) was holding a blind casting call for five different indie films being shot around the area. I think "Hey, it'll be a great project for my acting class if I kick it and watch how this all goes down.", and so I do. I was asked if I intended to sign up, I said "Sure, why the hell not." Jeremy was apprehensive and somewhat off put by the idea, and I asked him if there was any better idea he had. HA! Of course you don't. Let's check this out.
I'm taking mental notes as these promising young actors, actresses, and tech kids are pulled into different projects. I did not expect (but I secretly hoped) to be cast into anything, as there were some people from pretty prestigious places gunning for roles for which they had worked quite arduously. When a director and producer chose Jeremy and I, I was astounded and in somewhat of a disbelief. We were cheered on for just popping in off the street and jumping into this, and I thought it was amazingly coincidental. Perhaps it is about being at the right place at the right time. So I was called up to oversee sound and grip while doing artistic direction and production assistance. I saw this as the start to something big, something I needed to show me that I can in fact pursue something I've let smolder in the back of my mind since grade school. This truly is something big to me, something I do, in fact dream about. Shut up.
I remember a little snippet of something each time someone talks down on my aspirations: "The ones that scoff at your dreams are the ones that have already given up on theirs."
Pre-production starts soon, as today, they're scouting locations. Shooting is to begin within the week, and I really am excited. Thursday was a pretty awesome day as well, just full of friends and coffee like usual. And good shopping! Ah, outfits. My gay vice realized. Tonight is First Fridays, an art street fair in downtown, something I attend each month religiously. You never know what could happen there, because something is always happening beneath the towers of the city. It's up to you to find out what.
After an odd whirlwind tour of downtown (because these kids have been caged in suburbia for ages on end, so wow! It's a city! Nothing's shrink-wrapped in vinyl and marketed for a pseudo-nuclear family with 2.5 kids and a warped plastic picket fence!), I spent a good chunk of time loitering back at the snack bar with darling Ruby. I adore the girl, really. She's spunky and quirky, something you can't find outside of a scripted independent film much. Of course, it was after hours and I felt the strange need to help with whatever chores needed to be done when closing up shop. I dunno, I just feel like a moochy slacker if I don't somehow pitch in. Day change, it's Wednesday. Another short day, which is considerably better than other days. Again, I meet with Jeremy and we're running around downtown. It's a pattern, really, spending my time in downtown driving the streets finding little adventures in which to get ourselves wrapped up.. which is precisely what happened that night.
Westport Coffeehouse. Not a place I usually hang around, but eh. It was a change of scene. There's a theater attached to the downstairs section of this little joint, and inside, a big commotion was taking place. Upon wandering down the creaky wooden stairs, I found a large crowd of strangers assimilating into groups. After questioning a strange but attractive man, we discovered that the local IFC (Independent Filmmakers Association) was holding a blind casting call for five different indie films being shot around the area. I think "Hey, it'll be a great project for my acting class if I kick it and watch how this all goes down.", and so I do. I was asked if I intended to sign up, I said "Sure, why the hell not." Jeremy was apprehensive and somewhat off put by the idea, and I asked him if there was any better idea he had. HA! Of course you don't. Let's check this out.
I'm taking mental notes as these promising young actors, actresses, and tech kids are pulled into different projects. I did not expect (but I secretly hoped) to be cast into anything, as there were some people from pretty prestigious places gunning for roles for which they had worked quite arduously. When a director and producer chose Jeremy and I, I was astounded and in somewhat of a disbelief. We were cheered on for just popping in off the street and jumping into this, and I thought it was amazingly coincidental. Perhaps it is about being at the right place at the right time. So I was called up to oversee sound and grip while doing artistic direction and production assistance. I saw this as the start to something big, something I needed to show me that I can in fact pursue something I've let smolder in the back of my mind since grade school. This truly is something big to me, something I do, in fact dream about. Shut up.
I remember a little snippet of something each time someone talks down on my aspirations: "The ones that scoff at your dreams are the ones that have already given up on theirs."
Pre-production starts soon, as today, they're scouting locations. Shooting is to begin within the week, and I really am excited. Thursday was a pretty awesome day as well, just full of friends and coffee like usual. And good shopping! Ah, outfits. My gay vice realized. Tonight is First Fridays, an art street fair in downtown, something I attend each month religiously. You never know what could happen there, because something is always happening beneath the towers of the city. It's up to you to find out what.
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