Take It. Run With It. Can You Feel It?

Some days, it's all too easy to just drop what I can and let it go, and just drive. Nowhere certain, just drive. Other days, I feel as if I could never leave, like I'm surrounded by obligations and loose ends that must be tied up and put away nice and neat. Only then can I feel free, but as always, there's just a few more things to do.

I kinda don't really care anymore. Mean? Maybe. Selfish? Sorta. True? Definitely.

The thing is, I want something to stay for. Friends are perfect, though. Friends are something I'll never find anywhere but where I leave them, and that's the way it should be. What I'm waiting for is something solid. Something semi-rational and with more than just a heartbeat. Something just.. there. I hate it when I know that it's in front of my face, but I can't feel it. Can't savor it. Can't do anything but guess and/or let it go. Either way, I don't want to do anything about it. If it's there, than there will it stay until the course changes and it's put into effect. If it's not, well..

..it makes me sorta foolish to think that something's present when there's in fact, nothing here at all, is there?