There are so many things I want to say.. so many words left unspoken each time we draw the conversation to a close. They haunt my mind, creeping in dreamily as I ponder the possibilities. It's enough to make me smile, but enough to worry me with negativity and doubt. Fear.. rejection and abandoment, the two demons I have yet to find a way to exorcise.
Call me lame, but it's nothing new, this fear, this reckless caring. Call me old-fashioned, if you want, but I'm still waiting for that call.. haha, don't get me wrong, I'm not completely wrapped up in my own hopeless romantic fantasies to the point of where I'm totally detached from reality, don't you worry.. every time I've dared to dream, something bursts my bubble and I crash back with a thud of spite and a thwap of regret.. so I've learned my lesson. God, what's keeping me?! Shouldn't I be doing something?
Fear.
It's always been the restraint.
Do Wha..?
- Jake
- Kansas City, Missouri, United States
- I'm a frickin' warrior armed with ecclectic music, a small asian car, and mild to extreme sarcasm.
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